Rubber Dingy Rapids (Four Lions in joke)

My neck has gotten a little better today in the fact that I can sit up and hold my head up properly without looking like a toall tard box. I was to have started my essay for the first time this term and the neck has just put me entirely off my game. My little schedule that I had planned has just gone to pot entirely, which brings me onto my next nugget of chitter chatta.

BBC 3 has a new program called "A Freak Like Me". It's basically one of the new stand up comedians from mock the week type, getting is own tv show and actually this one isn't too bad. The idea is that they ask people what are the weird and wonderful little quicks they have that they dont normally tell anyone. One girl bites her toe nails. A chap has a collection of dead bees and so on and so forth. But it got me thinking about the fact that everyone has these little hidden naughties or even those times that make you feel all satisfied and warm inside.

 I started thinking about what mine were and although i have no intention of putting my bad habits down on paper however I will remind myself of the bright blue skies of joy I get from really, the simplest of things. Of course there are the normal ones like clean sheets and rain outside when your in bed all nice and cosy.

•  The other ones that I find make me feel entirely content are having a shower and a shave, a movie on in bed with a cup of tea, the window open so the room is nice and cold and the alarm turned off so I wont have to wake up.
• Chocolate with a cup of tea.
  
• Walking alone with a new album with my phone turned off.
  
• Watching columbo on a sunday afternoon.

I suppose other people will have wildly more productive warm day ideas but i suppose everyone has their own little ways.

Anyway other than that, shite loads has been happening since I last posted. Uni has been going really well. I entirely understand what they are teaching us up to now and have found that i am able to keep up with all the work and do all the reading and research. We have started to do developmental psych, which i have never done before and it is soooo interesting. I never really thought about developmental psych as something that would grab my mind but it really is something that everyone I know would love to read about. How on this earth have we ever been able to make ourselves this clever...... by that i mean, how the hell can our bodies be so clever. Once I have started to learn about it the more and more I start to spin out and worry that one day some massive guy in a clown suit is gunna step down out of the sky and tell us we have had our sessionin the play pit now its time to go back to the farm.
 
Developmental psych, great but very very scary.

I have had more tattoo done which I will post up here when i have taken another picture. This time I got my mum's perfume bottole done which looks amazing, i think. Looks like I am going to be able to have a real good go at moving along with my tattoo now, hopefully, but lets see what happens. At least i will hope that im not going to be ill for the best part of 10 months this time.  I cant wait to get this sleeve done and get started on my otherone. Im not sure what im gunna get yet but i will not be stopped from getting as many as i can btoh afford and fit on me without looking like a attention seeking emo.

Crimbo presents have started in ernest. Of course handmade again this year me thinks. I have an idea which, if it works will make the people that receive them very happy and maybe even............well actually no i'll leave it there. It's sooo much fun thinking of things to make instead of things to buy. The things i want to buy people are always too expensive for me to afford but even if the pieces you make cost like £4 they still have a shed load more value because someone went to the trouble of making them, or at least thats the impression that i have gained from people and that i certainly have when someone makes me something even if it's a bit of food etc. Crimbo crimbo here we come.

Neck Spaz

I had everything worked out today.

Starting the crimbo present making steps. Start my essay that has to be in fairly soon. Although both of those tasks sounds minor, they could fill the whole weekend if given the right amount of effort they're due.

The reason im not diving into these ideas with two feet is mainly because i have woken up and cant move my neck! I tried to lift my heas off the pillow this morning, nearly cried, then proceeded to stand holding my head in my hands so not to actually use my neck. Lying in bed worring about coughing or sneezing is a new kind of low in my life haha.

Now ive held my phone writing this blog entry for as long as my new pussy boy neck will allow..........

A Long Time Sally

Well. I have finally found my way back to the blog. No excuses and the such. Hopefully however this means that it's the start of the road to diary redemption.

Shit loads has gone on since the last blog entry and to be honest thats why this post isn't going to be that long because i have to try and remember it all and its late and supernatural is on, mmm!

So really this is for myself to say "start again because when you did it you actually liked it". I hope thats the kick in arse i need.

Argh!

In the Samaritans room with a big group of people. No one talking. Feels like we are in school all over again. I thought this would stop when we all got older than 16 year olds. However no. I'm still sitting here trying to make myself look busy like a total knobhead. Be ok if it was only a 30 minute thing but I've got this for 4 hours. 4 frigid hours for fuck sake. This could be worse. It could be for 5.

If I was on a bus I would be a total bus wanker. Now all I am is a just a wanker. Argh!

Regards
Dan

Who Needs Enemies!!

With friends that will buy you gay vampire erotica!

Picture Perfect

Nice day spend having funny framing my pictures and putting them up. I suppose this could be classed as my hobby now. Woo hoo! I've finally found a hobby in London other than getting trashed. It's really relaxing messing about with different ideas and effects. As you can tell at the moment the black and White picture with a splash of colour is a point now. I'm sure that will change as time goes on an I hopefully start to get better.

I ordered the DSM 4 yesterday with the more than generous present I got from James and Faith. It's quite a big thing actually. The DSM 4 (diagnostic and statistical manual) is basically the book that gives clinicians the guidelines for everyone psychological condition that is recognised by the medical profession. It's something I didn't want to invest in, it was more than £50 but not by a huge margin, until I was sure about the course etc. But with it being a present and it being something that will be integral to my course I went for it. Looking forward to it coming and I think I shall sit in Winston McHenry (my posh new dressing gown) and pontificate about how immensely crazy everyone I know is.

Come On!!!!!

So I think my first part of this post is going to be a big well done to Kitty and Cheesman. I know we have all been a bit shite lately at keeping up with the whole blog challenge (mostly me and cheesman) but I think to stop would be crap. The fact we missed some must surely be part of the challenge and only say something else about what we were doing at the time. Its not a failure its just happens to be the situation. Im sure our reactions to ourselves and others about missing the posts will in fact be more interesting and showing than even the original information that could have been added. SO!! In summery. Well done to all of us I think (especially kitty because she has only missed 2). Keep going and even if we miss more its ok. Its a challenge that is a win win situation.

Waking up today without a hangover and without some other sort of health problem is a joy. I suppose people just get spats of health issues, although mine has lasted 8 months now lol, but this morning I had a slightly fulfilled feeling. LIke I had finally done something that I had been meaning to do for ages......I hadn't! Waking up was also, not the achievement. Shit if just waking up was a goal for me im sure I could find a way to keep it at bay. So yeah, DDD's are gone for the moment hopefully and the week is starting off well for now.

The reason I missed the last few posts were just because I felt like shite. I have no reason to feel like crap and had no explanation for myself even. I just felt down and thats why the writing performance was not given. However we went to Lucy and Andy's wedding on the weekend which was great. The wedding itself was really relaxed and enjoyable. Every one was really nice and really talkative. "everyone was really nice"- could I try any less to be descriptive or interesting?!

My inability to correctly describe everyone's lovely personalities aside it really was nice. The 3.5 hour drive back with a massive hangover and stinking of booze however, wasn't the best. I have been worse, but , stil not the best situation ive been in.

So now the job of looking for a job is back on and im entirely skint so hobbies are coming in handy. I have started to do some more pictures (which ill add at the end) for the house and even just for myself. Learning a bit more of Adobe Photoshop is always a challenge because it can do a shed load of shit. The challenge is tying to think of interesting tasks to perform that dont just look like you have had a whack at the pictures with paint shop. Ill let everyone else the judge when they see them at the house.

DDD Part Deux

Started off well. Ended not so well. Nothing to cause it but that's just the way it turned out.

Sure it will sort itself out soon. :)

Regards
Dan

38/100 Hmm Stupid!!!

I said I was back. Obviously I lied. I didn't mean to lie but drinks and the the "dying duck day" kicked in.

Now im not sure if I have ever given the explanation of the DDD (Dying Duck Day) but I suppose if i haven't so far then I might as well. Nana used to say that she was having a DDD when she woke up in one of those moods when she didn't wanna do anything at all and even getting her to make tea was like trying to get me to stop shaking like a shitting dog when ive got a hangover. It's waking up in bed and just staring at the ceiling for like 30 minutes without thinking of very much at all. Any poop doesn't matter. Overall I felt a bit shat (explanation for the new swearword will come soon below), but after sorting out a new savings account and cheesman buying me lots of dim sum from M&S im coming out of the abyss and looking forward to the 3 hour long Big Brother episode.

Uni stuff is sorted. Waiting to hear back from them before I need to do anything else. So now it's sit back and wait for all my lovely new discount cards and students account to activate and ill be a fully paid up soap dodger.

Got lucys wedding on saturday so out comes the posh shirt and maybe even the skinny tie if I think that lucy can take it and bring on the dress up.

Ok now after all the waffle that really means nothing from nothing here comes the best piece of comedy I think I have seen in a long time. This actually makes me hurt with laughing. Please watch it and then leave it a day and watch it again.......its fucking so fucking funny hahahhaha Fully.

Funny shat below:

http://www.e4.com/video/H2h98Fsy0juNaMokqGTNp/play.e4

Dying

Typing hurts.

Everything hurts.

Jaeger is bad.

This hurts.

Regards
Dan

34/100 Back On Board Again.

So yes the whole blog issue has been crap at the moment . I have been very pants at the whole thing for some unknown and unspecific reason I just havent been in the mood. Anyhoo that is all over now hopefully and ill get back on the ball.

So I suppose the big news is that I got into uni. It's a big thing for the family actually because I am the first one that has ever gone. My dad did night classes for something to do with his paint company but other than that its me on my jack jones. Its only been when I think of that that I think its a big thing. I am really looking forward to it though. I like learning things and i think my personality has changed alot since moving down here towards a more "thinky" kind of job opposed to a manual job. I love manual jobs and have always done them but actually being able to learn ways to improve yourself and also, in the end, maybe, be able to help other people with the skills you learn at uni. LSD is very excited and fairly nervous but fuck em im gunna do it and if they wanna try and stop me then......well.......ill huff and puff and go to the student union bar for a cheap pint.

Definitly also stepping up my interest in art. I know that sounds super homo and pompus but I really am enjoying it. I dont really know anything about art. I have never learnt or been surrounded by anyting to do with it. Mum and dad arnt really into and even if they have had pictures on the walls etc then they have just been the ones that have moved from house to house as we experienced our 7 house moves growing up. I dont get some of the art or even like some of it but for all the ones you dont like the peices that grab you really make you look and enjoy something that someone else has taken the time to make or create. Hopefully ill put some pics up of some of the artists that I have found interesting.

Ok so looking for a job and looking forward to getting off my arse. You can only be a lazy fucker for so long. So overall skies are blue and the sun is shinning. Lets hope it stays that way.

Uni

Ok so little tipsy now. So I am now stamping this date as the day I got excepted to to university.

I promise I will have a good blog tmrw as I have things to say for once.

Regards
Dan

31/100 Home Is Where The Heart Is.....Even If Your Landlord Is A C**T!!!

The landlord issue is all done with hopefully Basically after getting on the phone with him. His brother shouting down the phone at me asking why I was being so difficult. I came up with a solution that means neither myself or Cheesman are in any danger of being illegal. However the fact that he had the fucking front to have a go at me and has even asked me in the first place to do something that I know is illegal is a damn right liberty. The moral of the story for me is that at any oppotunity that myself or Cheesman can get a house then we have to take it because to be honest I dont wanna give this dirty fucker any more of my money and im sure that Miranda feels the same or at least feels just as annoyed and upset. People just find it hard to be nice nowadays.

The job search is now on. Im bored of being unemplyed and also fed up to the back teeth with telling people im on the rock and roll. Ive never been unemployed for this amount of time and to be honest I think work means more to me than I thought it would. I think it's good to get out of your everyday enviroment, even if it's to a job that might not be the best option in the world. I went to the job center today and they found me a telesales job selling kids books or something like that. It's based in Finchley which helps on the old travel costs. I reckon i'll go for it because I need something then if I do get the job I can look for something that is a bit more interesting.

MMM new duvet is wuvvly. New pillows and nice thick new duvet, all together makes for a very enjoyable enviroment when LSD climbs into his pit. I put off getting a new dubet because I loved the one I had. However I suppose you never know how things can be better until you try so, here's mr stubborn himself, saying, I should have gotten a new one alot sooner because, seriously.....it was worth it.

Doing fringe season 2 at the moment which entirely rocks out with it's cock out. Sons Of Anarchy is also being viewed at bed time and wake up time in the morning. This to entirely rocks. Then once Fringe is done it's over to House season 6 to finish any semblance of social interaction. But I suppose that's what happens when you have no bloody money.

Au Revoir Mon Ami

Finally it has come time to say goodbye to the duvet that has kept me warm my entire adult life.

Need I say more.

28/100 Last Day

So the two weeks of the northan experience is nearly over. Many drinks have been had together with many laughs and memories shared.

Yesterday me and doddsey went over to the metro centre (massive shopping centre in Newcastle) he did some shopping and then we went to frankie and bennies for some good grub. Back to his with a couple crates and proceeded to have another night on the dreaded booze along with a few others that came round.

So I realise I have t explained the whole landlord thing yet so here goes. Inty called me the other week and asked me if it would be ok to put his name on one of the utility bills. He needed so he could set up a business account which would be registered from our flat. Ok so I thought why not it doesn't sound like too bad of a thing so told him he would have to ask Miranda aswell because the accounts are in her name aswell. He did and she said yes too as would be expected.

However.

Mum over heard and thought she would ask her boss who is a solicitor. Next day she calls to say that whatever I do I should not allow him to go on our accounts because to say he is at the property paying bills is illegal. Also a client of hers who did allow her landlord onto the bills was faced with a short jail sentence as her landlord had been running some sort of money laundering service through his business and as it was registered to the flat she was in and her name was on the same bills she too was accountable for the problems caused. I dont understand all the in's and out's of the whole thing but I'm not about to argue with a solicitor of 30 years.

I told Inty this and he kept on saying it's not it's not. Basically he has bugged me about it now for 1.5 weeks. It ended the other night with me having to be blunt and saying I'm on holiday and won't be dealing with it until I get back however mine and mirandas view will not change. I can't believe he is expecting us to do something we have clearly said we are not happy with. I know he will not be happy when I tell him it's not gunna happen. I could even see him getting shitty with me and maybe even further but I don't give a fuck to be honest. Neither myself or Miranda are going to be pushed into this and certainly not by a stupid little landlord like him.

LSD is not a happy bunny. However could be worse. We could still be with foxtons.

Regards
Dan

27/100 Another night

At doddseys house listening to country tunes and motely crüe.

You know the rest.

More to come. Including the landlord issues.

Regards
Dan

26/100 Duvet Day

So I have had my mums old duvet for years. It's old and fucked and most likely full of all the bad little creatures that people on the tv say live off dead skin,but, it's really heavy and lovely and just really snuggly. I look forward to getting in to bed with and my sinky mattress it just makes going to bed a bloody joy.
Mum said that I needed a new one and I finally gave In And went for it today. Duvet's in shops are shite. They should have beds set up with a tv on and tea to give the full effect. Honestly the next time you go into a shop that sells duvet's, pick one up and feel how light they are. Imagine yourself sleeping under it and you will feel like you have been entirely jipped by the sandman. Tog is bollocks aswell. I want my measure of duvet in pounds and stones. If it's able to cut off circulation to your feet during the "cooling down system" (hanging legs out the bed) then that's the one for me. In the end I have taken the one from mums house because I've used it and I'm happy with it. I'll give it a go then see if we are gunna get on.

Inty!! Wanker. I'll do the proper post on this tmrw because it needs a proper keyboard for me to get out all tension and explain why Inty (our landlord) is a total ass face cock muncher.

After shopping saw doddsey and Denise for a catch up and a couple drinks then thankfully back home for tea and pink wafers, fat pants and hoodie. Mmmm it's the small things.

25/100 Nearly There

Quarter of the way through eh! I honestly thought it would have fallen by the wayside by now for me but. It hasn't. Yeah ok I've missed some but life can tend to get in the way. Although high friggin five to kitty who, unless I'm mistaken, hasn't missed one at all. But I suppose glass is half full and better to keep trying than just throw in the towel. Missed or not I think well done to all involved for still doing it.

So washed the car in and out today. A small but very joy filled time for, as cheesman will vouch for. My stepdad has got one of those high pressure hoses which kicks ass. Gets all the crap for your wheels and you don't even have to scrub. Mm. It's sad but hey everyone has theirs.

Off to the dumb with some things for my mum and then to see doddsey and Denise for a bit. Off to dinner with mum before I go back and my step sisters etc aswell. It's good but I'll surely come back worse for wear.

Oh oh oh and "The Chorus". A film that Miranda bought ages ago and we used to get the duvet out in Aylmer court and a cup of tea with nipples and watch it. It's now been placed firmly in my top 10 maybe top 5 films. I love it. You cannot watch that film without having a smile on your face. And until you watch it the second time you don't get the full smile experience. I watched it last night, on my own with a cup of tea and the dog on my lap (gay !) and smiled happily singing when it was needed "cookooaboo cookooaboo cookoo......"etc. And scowling at the nasty principal when needed. It's a great flick and something that everyone should see twice at least.

Off for the 3 s's and then out.

Mood= happy and looking forward to home.

(cheesman find the chorus and ready the duvet)

24/100 Home Sweet Home

For the first time in a long time I miss home. That makes it sound as if I had a problem with it in the past, which is not true at all. But this week I've only been gone for a little bit I miss the surroundings of home etc. Of course I miss everyone down there it's purely the home front side of things that I haven't missed that much before. Wicked being up here, seeing the fam and of course catching up with mates.

Today was entirely lost to a mammoth hangover due to another all day session. Sat outside the fox for the afternoon and then on down to mr antz for a few too many shots. Hangovers are seriously getting worse. The older I get the more incapable I become to being able to function at all the next day. It fucking sucks not being able to cope like when I was 17 and a headache would be the entirety of my problems.

Off today to have a relaxing drive through the country. Totally forgot why I love driving this much, because when you get the chance to drive through the countryside, not driving though it to get somewhere just to actually drive for no reason is such a treat. You can do it in London but it's just not the same as being surrounded by proper unspoilt countryside.

Also had a little Spaz out the other day. I honestly don't think I have an ability to just make conversation. I'm shite at just chattin the shit with people. I mean chattin with Cheeser is a a whole different thing, we could chat about the different textures of stone in the world and still end up having a laugh at some point lol. I mean people that your not close with and just have to chat with, I think on that level I literally have hardly any interesting or entertaining things to bring. It's not like fishing for anyone to validate me by saying have, it's just that I do think that. I'm gunna keep checking on myself and maybe check that I am still able to socialise with people without the aid of in jokes, swearing and in depth chats about the amazing world of psychology that actually alot of people don't dig that much I have found.

Gunna get a job soon. I have gotten lazy. I mean i am not mr fucking motivator at the best of times but I've gotten worse and not having a job to go and do and make you get and go doesn't help. I've got no idea what I'm gunna do but I really hope that I can find something outside or at least slightly manual. Workin in a zoo or something like that would be bad ass. Bit of work and a bit of physical movement all in one go. I've tried before and it seems that no one wants just a mucking out guy anymore. I'm sure the search is gunna be long and boring but, could be worse. As always.

Missed Another One

What a dick. I thought this would be easy to remember but it's really not. Been running about and drinking slot up here so that's the reason. I suppose I'll just have to blog a couple times a day to catch up.

Met up with "the german" , doddsey and couple others last night. Really good day, and mean day, sat outside the beer garden from 1 and carried to the early hours. Feel like I've been beaten up from the inside this morning but I suppose why not. All in the name of fun.

Finally getting my bracelet made by a jeweller in corbridge. My guy in London fell through so super popper excited about that.

Also, for the first time, saw my mums little home made allotment. It's amazing!! Been eating salads all week because the lettuce taste like actual lettuce. Mmm

21/100 Just In Time

Gotta be quick because I have only about 3 mins to post.

Lazy day today after a night in the pub last night. Been great seeing everyone and I suppose a small bonus was drinking with Brian Johnson. Yes..... Of acdc.

More tmrw.

Regards
Dan

19/100 Another Busy Day

So another busy spent with Doddsa. Chilled out in the morning catching up with movies and enjoying some good music and a long bath, I'm a shower man myself, but the bath is deep with a skylight above. I felt very Charles dickens for some reason.
Off to doddsas to watch a few dvd's and some hot dogs for lunch. We actually watched "The Human Centerpede". Ok so it's exactly something that anyone would run out and steal a seat at the cinema for but actually not what I thought it was gunna be.

Yeah ok.... You guessed the main premise.... Or maybe you didn't. Basically it's a crazy old surgeon that abducts 3 people. "attaches" them ass to mouth making the human centipede. Hahha it's sooo bad it's kinda good. Not as gory as you might think and actually has a good bit of tension and suspense. It's a good laugh and worth a bit of a look, if not just for the point at which the front of the centipede needs the toilet.

Number 2.

18/100 Chilled

Out last night with doddsey. Wicked spent in many bars and pubs. The desired affect was produced and a day of tv and sitting on the couch ensued.

This one has to be super quick otherwise it will be tmrw.

Regards
Dan

16/100 The Angel

Sat today. All day. Outside our favourite pub. Chatted shit. Saw the locals. Saw the folks. The world is good.

16/100 Home Sweet Home

Went back home today, all the way back to sunny Corbridge.

The drive was really nice. I love just being in the car, music on, thoughts to yourself just maxin and relaxin. There is something about being in your own space all cut off from other people that can really chill you out. Not that I was particularly stressed in the first place like.

Got here and saw mum and Elliott and dad. Caught up and had some good home cooked food. Tmrw comes a day at the with Doddsey, my best mate back home. I'm sure it will just like old times or at least I hope it will be. Actually it will be.

Regards
Dan

15/100 Sleepless In East Finchley

So Glenns party has been and gone. It was grand. Saw loads of people that we hadn't seen since the wedding in Poland. However, one part that I did forget, was the joy of good quality vodka followed by a shot of apple juice. Never feels like a normal heavy night when it's done the way the Polish guys and gals do.

Bit tired tonight so need this to be a short one. I will take some pics of my. Room for the next post as finally I got round to putting pictures up in my room.

Regards
Dan

Number is stated here. ..... Pissed

Next generation star trek rocks and I feel like a big fat blob. Welcome to the twilight zone.

Regards
Dan

13/100 Super-photo-moto

Had a good night last. Lots of lovely food and some good drinks. Finished up and back for tea and BB. Nice end to a good night. Sure Jimbo enjoyed himself, certainly hope so. With that much lovely food it would be hard not too.

The day today was entirely filled with making my lovely photos come alive in new frames and starting to get them put up in my room. I have done a few more canvasses and also used my photo printer to do some really great looking glossy ones aswell. I have used some of my own pictures, and will be adding more of my own as the time goes on. However I have also started to put together some great ones of my favorite photographers like William Eggelston, Bresson etc. Knicked the pics of some peoples blogs and sites and had a play around with them to make them cool for printing and there you have it. Some great prints of some great pictures that will most likely not mean anything to alot of people but every one of them to me has made me think a certain thing after looking at them. Some make me feel sad, however, the majority make me smile and I can enjoy seeing them. This wont be the last of the them to come because I have found that wilko's do a huge massive selection of photoframes for no money. I got 22 for £20 today. Mint!!

Off to glenns for his party tmrw so I think i'll do a nice and early post to make sure i get in there without delay.

12/100 Ping Pong

James birthday today. Happy Birthday!!!

So off to ping pong down by Oxford Circus for lots of lovely dim sum and beer. Not that much done today really just another day of finding how best to busy myself. Went and got some pressies for Glenns littlen (my old boss) getting ready for his bbq drinks on saturday.

Other than that nothing much to really report. Been a bit skint so the activities that allow are slim on the ground. Im sure after tonights drinks and food there will be something more interesting will be posted.

11/100 Car Wankers

So today's activity was the court hearing for her car.

She won!!!

I'm sure she will go into it in it's full glory suffice to say that the major joy to come out of it for me, as the bystander, was that the female judge made them pay for the £2.50 parking ticket we had to get and also for the petrol for the 2.5 miles ( which we said was 4 miles) journey in the car to the courthouse. Hahha. Oh the sweet sweet pleasure of success.

In other news my dad booked my ticket to go see him in Spain. The normal thing to do is pick a time to fly that won't ruin my entire life. He booked me to fly at 6am. That means I have to leave the house at fucking 3am. That means I have to get up at 2:30am.

Dad! Are you on crack !?

I'm already feeling tired at the roughy of it. Bloody old people eh ?

10/100 Missed

Yeah ok..... I missed it. Bought book shelves. Put them up. Rearranged the sitting room. Needed drinks afterward. Drinks taken.... Sorry. Tonight just not feeling it.

9/100 Twat.Wanker.Knobhead Shit Munchers!!!!

Im sure I have already done this but in previous blogs but this time I have have had to do it because otherwise I might have to go and kick a small child in the face to get enough revenge satisfaction.

I HATE FUCKING BARCLAYS SOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHH!!!!! WANKERS !!!!!!

I had to transfer some money today from one barclays bank to another. From my account to another. I don't use my barclays accound anymore because of the whole "getting all my money stolen" thing. So I go to transfer the money, which when using Llyods, is a total peice of piss. Not with chuffing barlays. Pin sentery wanker came into play.

I couldn't remember the 13 (13!!!) digit internet sign on code. Then my account had forgotten that I had paid the person before. Then when I had gone through all that I had to get another bloody referance code from the Pin Sentry wanker to allow the transfer to go through. WANKERS!!!

Barclays have entriely missed the point of internet banking. It shoud be quick and easy and allow the person to be able to do their account changes and transfers etc whenever and wherever they want. Not to have to have a small bible and electronics to allow you to do this. They are shite. Anyone that is banking with them shoudl seriously look into changing. I have tried 4 times to get a credit card with barclays, I have a perfect credit score, they have declined me everytime. I moved to lloyds, asked once and the card was with me in 1 week. Perfect!

So sorry for the rant but they just really really boil my piss. Ive typed too quickly and grand designs has just started so im going to stop now. Sorry for spelling but I have to post now otherwise I feel my anger at the Barclays tossers may take me over!!!!

8/100 Porktastic

Lazy lazy lazy.

After being woken by a more than slightly hungova Cheesman needing a lift home after a busy night......socialising, a breakfast of meat and chicken babies was followed by a lunch of pig flesh and cow juices mmmmmmmm. Who can ask for more. The didficulty being able to breath or even keep my eyes open means that it has worked. Faithy and Kitty came round a their carboot adventure was cut short. Now the night is here and nothing will be done because there is just too much dead animal blocking my digestive tract.

In other news, superdrug have released their very own range of man only make-up products. "Taxi" is a new type of makeup. The reason for it being soo different is because it is for men, take for instance the guyliner pencil. They have made it sooooo specifically for men they have actually, wait for ittt,

"Made the pencil bigger because men have bigger hands"!!!!!!!!

Oh emm geee!! Genius. Who would have thought that such a product would ever exisit. Men would have been stumped by eyeliner had these explosions of creation never happened. Made it bigger for our massive giant man hands......amazing!! Thankyou super drug, thankyou.

Tomorrow should be bringing book reading, computer games and maybe a bike ride. Exciting stuff.

7/100 Oops

My last couple of posts have been a bit beige and I know it. However in my own defense I dont really do that much. Unlike having a job where you have the joy of the two commutes there and back and the joy of the days work to leak into your mind only to gallop over the blogspace page in more and more ineteresting fashions.

I get up and make tea. The rest of the day is a blur of talking to myself (in whispered tones) and finding intriguing ways of how to spend money I don't have. I know I know it's sounds like it's a bit of a rockstar life but I promise reader it's a drag! ....lol.

I suppose one new development in my world of camp. Man-makeup. It' always been a bit of a strange world for me to even look into but I have an issue with my big black........bags under my eyes. I have been, of course, told thatthey aren't that bad but, you know, when something about you boils your piss you just have o do something about. So boots came to the rescue with some Clinque Airbrush Concealer.......... GAY!!!!!

I have ted it a couple of times but I literally have no idea if it works or if im doing i right. The fat will have to be brought up with the cheesman and a small teaching class may have to be undertaken to reveal this "Airbrush" potential. I suppose if nothing else it is very very much fun making it all come out of the tube.

So the rest of today is going to be doing a bit of retail therapy. Dvd's and some nice grub from M&S.

6/100 A heavy night.

5/100

What's more to be said than..... Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

4/100

The new part of the tattoo. It's a slow process. Maybe longer than others but after 3 hours today, maybe it's me that has higher expectations of time taken to do detail on a tattoo. Anyhoo I'm happy with wat was done and when the film is taken off I'm sure all will be shown.

3/100 Finally It's Started.

After forever and a day I have finally started to put ink to canvas and get pictures of the nearest and dearest on the walls of chateau Mansfield heights.
I bought a really wicked kit from the lovely people at Amazon. It's called photofuse,

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d.html/ref=mp_s_a_2?qid=1279658627&a=B00139V1AA&sr=8-2

It's really easy and really fun actually. The sky is the limit now, four done and five more on the way. I'll try and put some pictures in to this blog but it might not work so it may come later.

2/100 Realisations

So I realised I can sit on my own without anything to distract me and not actually go mental. I always used to avoid it incase of 'thinking' too much about things that I'll worry about or can't change. 3.5 hours today and nothing.....I didn't go crazy or feel the need to ball my eyes out. Random.....yes.....big thing for me.....yes......sad that that is a big thing for me.....YES!!

I can drive without any shoes or socks on.

I snore even when I'm not drunk.

I prefer roll on deodorant to spray.

I'm sure there are more, in fact, there is more I just can't remember right now. They will start to trickle onto the blog for sure.

1/100 The Real 1/100

Ok so I thought even I couldn't fuck up a blog. Amazing that I can still suprise myself with my capacity for stupidity. I posted yesterday to say that I was going to take part, however because im a total doosh it looks like I started yesterday. I didn't I promise. So today is the first of the 100 posts of the coming days.

Ive always said that I wanted to write down or try and remember my dreams after I have them. So i'll take the oppotunity of the blog and write them on here. Other than going for a walk for a couple hours and playing my pc today has been a fairly chilled day of not very much. Next week is busy with tattoo, meeting mates and more chilling.

There, little and not too much to say but after the 99th im sure this will look like and essay compared.

The Hundred Days Blog.

Its all starting here. After a shed load of time not blogging, the phenomonen that is Kitty, has given the challenge to blog everyday for 100 days.

Shit.

Sounds like a good idea, but, not so easy me thinks. However I am going to give it a go and hopefully it won't be as dull as my normal blog's. I have although decided that I will try and record my drems for 100 days aswell and include them in the blog.

Here.......we.........go!!

Pickles, Karen Dying and Books

Well what a time has been had. Brighton for the weekend last week was a good old knees up and a super dooper hootinanny. Toodled on down there all the way through bloody south london. Which although sounds failry shite it gave some of the best talking points for the whole weekend.

So I suppose just for my own sake in many years to come when I get to get a robot to speak back my blog instead of actually having to read as per invention will pertain. riving though Brixton i think and a couple of young lads who were addourned with urban gear and in addition to which they were wearing those "jumpers" that have goggles in them aswell.....see below

In turn this spark the converstaion a police officer may be inclined to have with someone who may or may not have just commited a robbery of say......a post office. Post office has been robbed and the police officer is on the way to the scene when he bumps into the above mentioned.

Copper (C)

Jumpa Boy (JB)

C- "oi you lad come here. Why you got a mask on your coat?"

JB- "(tooth suck) Wat you want doe bruv. I aint got no mask doe"

C- "well actually yes you have. You have a coat with a balaclava on. Why would you have that unless you wanted to hide your face?"

JB- "Mask.......?"

C-"yeesssss.......its on your back. Connected to your coat"

JB-" naa maaatee. Dats ma jumpa doe!"

C- "Yes but it has a mask on. SO why have you got a mask with you?"

JB- "But itz my jumpa doe?!..."

C- "No. Yes i have grasped that its a jumper but why have you got a mask on it? WHy would you need a mask to cover your face? Why do you need to cover your face?"

JB- "Yeah but it's a jumpa doe......"

This could carry on for some time so you get the idea. I am really hopeing that techknowledgy lives up to my expectations and gves me the chance to get a really clever robot to reinact that ahaha. Jumpa Doe hahaha. Gold!! However in the dark the above picture may feel a little more like the nelow one.......

The conversation may not be as riveting however....

So after the joy of south london. Onto Brighton and Nick did a huge effort at getting as drunk and full of fun for the longest time which was grand. He did very well at entertaining the 3 stooges from London. Steam-punk played a part in the weekend as-well as Nick found a steam-punk night and market on the sunday so Cheeser got dolled up and marched on down. It was great! She found loads of stuff she wanted and also re-affirmed her love for SP. And we all played lots of trivial pursuit and strolled along the long winding path of drunkenness once again.

All in all a great weekend and one that we shouldn't wait so long before we do again.

Uni work!!! Its hard man!!! Well the content is ok once you get our mind round it but the ay to actually write things and how to actually put pen to paper compared to just thinking it sucks. Its something that im gunna have to try fuckin hard to get right and im sure this will be a place where the failings and the achievements will be well documented so that robot is gunna have its work cut out!!!

Im also really hoping that my op that i need to have can come after the course has finished. I intend on speaking to the docs about when im in next week and seeing how long i can safely put it off because i really dont wanna fail this course and go back another year along the way of getting qualified. As long as i can medically get it put back i will. Im not going to hurt myself in the process but getting into uni is a huge thing for me and i just want to get started.

Of course things could always be worse and im sure everythign will work out the way it's meant to. Fingers legs and hoo hoo's crossed.

Whoops There It Is!!!!!!

Well finally I have found my way back to the blogspot. It's been a fairly interesting few months and I actually have some real and normal things to say for once. Of course they will be swiftly followed by a barrage of fully un-interesting facts points and drivle but I suppose you cant have everything in life.

We shall start with goods things. I have been accepted to uni. Oh fuck yes!! whats the chances of them actually letting me into uni. Cant beleive it. I have no prior experiance in the subject (psychology) and i have no real higher education other than catering college, which basically means i went to the palce where all the social toilet paper of life go when they leave/get chucked out of school.
I think really my saving grace was both my personal statement and my referance from Susie at work. She was the best person in the world. Being me as usual i left doing my personal statement to the last minute and gave her 5 hours to write the statement in time for me getting onto my UCAS application. if i hadn't of gotten it in in time then i would have had to have waited until next year to get onto the course. This just woudl not do, i got in touch with her and she had it written and sent to me in 2 hours. Amazing!! Thats why you have friends and work collegues for that reason. To be there when your in a bind and you need some help. I hope i get to help her in the same way aswell someday. Failling that i sent her a massive bunch of flowers instead. Thanks SUSIE!!!!
So the referance and my personal statemet must have been what stole the day. I waffled on for the allowed amount of words in the application and sold myself to the best of my abillities. Actually selling your self is hard, like, teaching a Jeremy Kyle guest to do long multiplication hard. It's just not an english way to be happy with yourself and to try and big yourself up. I mean come on we're not fuckin yanks.
Anyhoo. I have the offer and now all i have to do is pass the HE Certificate course and i'll be a happy little camper as a student for many years to come. Fingers crossed and everyone should also be afraid that i will, at some point, be calling upon all of you peeps out there to take part in my psych questionnaires and tests. Oh yes i will prove that you are all raving mentalists.


Ok so uni down back to the wound. It still hasn't healed. I had this done on boxing day and it still isn't gone. In fact I have to now go to see the small ops guy (thats a guy that deals with small operations, not someone that is small and worrks in the operations dept). He has to look at it and see if something more needs to doing to allow it to heal more quickly. This is not good. I had everything ready for trying to lose some weight when i came back from my mums after the op. I put on some weight because i could'nt move and also couldn't say no to my mums cooking. This pairing of events only leads to weight gain. Alot of weight gain. So now that i dont have a job i intended to get out on my bike in the mornings, come back and have breaky then start my work for uni. It hasn't happened yet because i just can't sit on the bike seat properly. However it will and i will hopefully get rid of some of these many extra rolls of tubb.


So roll on all the shite that i have been picking up along my way since my last blog. Dodgy food! That shite that is normally a staple in iceland and other supermarkets that have no morals. The pictures will explain it all but but come on seriously is there any people that would ever actually buy this shite. Certainly its not for human comsumption. Hopefully this stuff is for the dogs and not for them. However if they are stupid ebough to buy the crap then maybe they deserve to eat the shit.




Look!!! They call that chicken!!!!!!

Upon return from mum's i had some sort of need for some sort of stodge last corral. Mum is an amazing cook and cooks all those things that make you happy when you eat them and food that is only made for putting hair on your chest. As i found out why her gravy tatses so good is her special ingrediant..... so off i started and made my own little happy day food and boy was it a happy day!!!

And after filling my face with huge amounts of carbs and protein i decided that i needed to clean the pit. I bought a new desk because i really didn't have enough space to do my uni work on. This made me clean places in my room that i dont think have seen the light of day since we moved in. Amazing what you can find when you move things around. However i dont really understand some of the things that DID come out. Dairy products???? Really????


Now the end cometh and i think ill end on one picture that makes me glad to be alive. This picture just makes me smile. It is a dogs life to be!!!

Happy as a dog in the sun!!!!!

The Blog I Needed To Do

Tea. I love tea. I can imagine that any poor soul about to read this knowing what situation im in at the moment could be lead to the conclusion that i have far too much time on my hands and have nothing better to do that talk about entirely inane shite.

 Well i suppose this evaluation of events wouldn't be entirely unture, however, it's a blog that I should have done a while ago.

 

I don't think of myself as a person who has a hugely addictive personality, however, tea is my smack. I love the shit and if I had had to live without something this would be very far, if not, the last on the long list.

 

Why do i love the stuff. Why is it one of the first things that I think of when I wake and why do I think that I couldn't function at my workplace without having one before hand. What is it that makes me sooo comforted when having one. The warmth? The tatse? The look? I suppose it's all of it but there is no feeling like when you get back after a shite day or after doing the walk of shame and having a shaower. Sticking the kettle on and going through the few little rituals in the making of said amazing hot confection. Sitting down, curling your hands around the cup and taking the first tentative sip. The slurpping noise and the samll or somethimes large amount of burning pain on your lips, depending on how in need of the stuff you are, and then that feeling. The feeling that you have had to amny smokes the night before and you can feel every bit go down your throat.

 

 Joy!! That is real joy!! How can such a small and easy refreshment bring soo much feeling. I know this all sounds a but far fetched but seriously, can you think of one other thing that without fault can sort you out everytime without fail.

 

Then comes the decision of what kind of this fantastical leaf you should purchase.....I must admit have always been a fan of tetley. Mum always bought it for the house and I suppose although its not the most tastey of the commercial brands when you have grown up with it and you are used to it then it becomes something that you get used to. However after a visit to Jimbo and Faff's place, they gave me some yorkshire tea. That shit is good. Off to the shops and now its a staple.

 

The one thing out of this whole enjoyable and entirely healthy addiction is that I stil can't decide what milk. Hahah. I mean seriously its not something that keeps me awake all night or something that should be a major point of contention but I reckon was I in a certain group of company, basically the people that read this blog, and we maybe found ourselves in a pub, we could have a pretty damn long conversation about this subject. When I had the yorkshire tea for the first time it was skimmed milk. You could tatse loads but there is something about skimmed milk I just don't trust. It's definitly not whole milk because that makes me feel sick. Suppose semi skimmed it the best alternative but it just doesn't let you tatse he tea as much.

 

This whole post sounds a bit more than a little mental and I can't really believe ive bollocked on soo much about fucking tea. It was bound to happen and I reckon I may have struck a cord with people. It's a serious  discussion that I think needs to be had by more people.

Winter Wonderland

From inside my nice and warm sitting room it lovely to see the winter.

Point out..... From inside!

Am I A Bird...

At which point does it become ok for me to invite my mum to leave me ironing to do. Damn this back problem.

Crimbo and A Retard

What would crimbo be without a child in a stupid costume. Lol. Love
the Charlie man.

The North Does Snow Properly

So as I've taken a few pics over the last week or so thought it would
be nice to get them up after that immense load of words previously.

Deck the halls with..... Blood, Puss and Ass!!

I'm a knobhead. Best to get that out the way with nice and early. Lots
of things going on at the moment but I suppose the main thing is that
because I take far too long to actually do anything about important
things I had to have surgery on boxing day morning. Bring forth the
tale of twat.....

Ive had the abcess issue for about 4 years. I get it, I go to docs and
get drugs, it goes away. So the Monday before crimbo I go to doctors
and get drugs. I don't really take drugs so normally when I do they
work pretty quick.
decided that I shouldn't go to work because I can't sit down properly
so along comes Friday and I'm off to Newcastle for crimbo.
the next bit of twat in this massive story of twat is that I left my
barclays card at home, which I would normally have on me at all times
but never use. This, to be reminded, is the card I bought the train
ticket on ( remmember this pointas it will come in handy later in the
proceedings).
Up to the station I did rock and went to the quick ticket machine to
collect the ticket. I enter a card and a ref number and the machine
says-

" this is not the card that you purchased the ticket with so you
cannot retreive it. Go to the desk"

Off to the desk and they say they cant do anything. I will have to go
and buy another ticket which is £110. This would not be good as I'm
totally skint.
Anyhoo I got it refunded, some how, something to do with me chatting
the lady from the north east on the other end
Of the phone may have helped.
hobbled onto the train and it's packed. Like being on the tube packed.
I'm standing in the connector bit of the train with the window to my
left, the bin in front of me and the toilet to the right. Standing the
whole way because I can't sit down without looking like a downy.
Normally I'm a fairly chatty person that doesn't mind making friends
to people that I don't know. This is not one of those times and the
bird trying to strike up an entirely pointless Convo with me can
basically go and chew her face off with her own shin bones for all I
care.

3 cold and snowy hours down the line we get to Newcastle. Dad picks me
up and I go to get in the car. At this point and only at this point
because, I'm a twat, I realise I can sit down and have to lye across
the back seat looking like a retarded chimp trying to extract termite
from a hole whilst inviting lightning to hit me in the arse.

Get home and go out with doddsey and friends. Get totally fucked and
it's mint. Back is really hurting but it's entirely worth it. Me and
doddsey go back to his and get mashed up untill mum comes to pick me
up. She the. Says that she is taking me to A and E because she is
worried. I'm hammered and she wants people to actually talk to me.
Thus the docs give me way too many drugs than should be legal and send
me on my way.

Crimbo morning arrives and it's a wicked time with fun and food and
pressies. Everybody is fine and the day goes really nicely.
crimbo night I am in loads of pain and need to go to AnE. After a
wait of 2 hours, which is to be expected I suppose, the doctor says
they will need to operate today. However the hospital we were at
couldn't do it. We had to drive for 1.5 hours to another one by the
coast. She told us this at 3am. As you may imagined I was not a happy
bunny by any means lol.

Off home for 3 hours kip then off to the hospital. They were totally
great at the hospital. They sent me to a ward. Thankfully bypasing
the ward that looked like gods waiting room with an express isle. So
ended up with just one other person on the ward and only had chance to
figure out how to put the gown on and theycame with the trolley to
take me to surgery.

Find me the drug they give you just before they put you out. It's
mint! I would but it I. Buckets. I was chattin away an talking
bullshit so much so they took it up with me when I woke up haha. Once
again ..... Twat.

Op done and dusted and had to stay for one night. Then she had to pack
the wound. This hurts. Alot!

Back home and just have to wait for the nurse to come and put me in
pain a bit more everyday. That's a laugh a minute!

However all this said. I'm sooo thankful it happened up here. The
doctors are lovely. The hospitals are clean and lovely. And I get a
nurse to my house everyday for a month. Lovely!

So now I can walk a little better and things are looking up. This blog
has been a bit long so I think a post of this now and a follow up in
another will do just right.

Last thing to say. Missed all my bread bins (friends) loads and hope
eveyone had a super pooper time. X x x